Okay, so here’s the deal: Manchester United’s very own Marcus Rashford had a bit of a rollercoaster, huh? After kind of flopping around like a floppy fish in Villa’s 3-1 slump against PSG – jeez, that was a game to forget… or maybe not, cause Unai Emery decided Rashford still looked useful. It’s like when you have a bad pizza but you’re too hungry to care, so you eat it anyway. Nobody gets my analogies, but whatever. Rashford got his starter spot again against Southampton, which is possibly the universe’s way of saying, “Shake it off, buddy!”
So there he was, Rashford, doing his thing for about 66 minutes before Ollie Watkins, who apparently woke up feeling particularly spiky, took over. Funny thing – Watkins came on, and in the blink of an eye (if blinking took 73 minutes), he headed the ball like he had springs for legs. And that’s after he’d already set up a penalty, which poor Marco Asensio couldn’t convert thanks to Ramsdale showing off his best goalkeeper impersonation skills. Crazy, right?
Then, boom! Donyell Malen jumped into the mix like an unplanned encore, fired the ball into the bottom corner, and Villa was breezing at 2-0. If goals were cookies, Villa was having a bake sale. Not to be left out, McGinn had a go and sort of made Ramsdale’s hands cry at this point, because the Scotsman hit the rebound after another penalty save – and that’s the third one. A hat trick of sorts, just not the kind you’d brag to your mates about.
Anyway – oh wait – yeah, Rashford… He had some sparks but still didn’t light the full-on bonfire upfront; the whole goalscoring thing was better left to Watkins and the gang. Rashford had a couple of shots, but they were mostly like tossing pebbles at a fortress. Sigh. Still, he had this ninja-like accuracy with 15 out of 16 passes connecting, so props to him for that. And let’s not forget the 94% pass accuracy stat – the kind that makes number-crunchers nod with approval.
But back to those aerial duels, meh, Rash didn’t win those, which is one of those situations where you yell at the TV screen even though he can’t hear you. Ground duels? Nailed most – true soldier style. All while dabbling in tackles like trying to catch a slippery fish—one good catch, mind you.
And hey, Villa’s win wasn’t for nothing, as now they’re hanging out at fifth in the league, cozying up just behind Manchester City and a stone’s throw away from Nottingham Forest. No doubt keeping things spicy in mid-table land.
Catch ya later for more football shenanigans. And yes, that image up top is thanks to Warren Little and the Getty bunch. Follow us on Bluesky if you somehow found this mess delightful: @peoplesperson.bsky.social. Cheers!
