Sure thing! Here’s a rewritten version of the article:
—
Alright, so, I’m back with what might be the messiest Monday Finish ever. Seriously, this week’s been like watching a cat chase a laser pointer — all over the place. But first, let’s talk about Scottie Scheffler. I mean, should I just write him a letter begging for a team-up at the Zurich next year? Who knows. Anyway, here’s what went down…
Okay, so, get this: I’m hanging around the 18th at the Chevron Championship, and it was like… chaos central. I saw Ariya Jutanugarn needing a birdie, totally flub a chip and take a bogey. Haeran Ryu had this whole drama with her approach — nuked it into the grandstand, took ages figuring out a drop, then out of nowhere, chips in for eagle. Crazy, right?
Oh, and don’t even get me started on the playoff — five women at 7-under. Ronni Yin had this killer approach, looked all set for an eagle, and then… three-putts. Yep, that happened. But in the end, Mao Saigo, this cool-as-a-cucumber 23-year-old from Japan, sunk a birdie in the playoff. Big win, right?
But then things get weird — she jumps in Poppie’s Pond and suddenly needs her caddie, Jeffrey Snow, to help her out. Turns out, she’s not great with water. Talk about a plot twist. Anyway, major shout out to Jeffrey for being the absolute MVP of the day.
Winners of the week, you ask? Obviously, Mao Saigo. She’s on this wild dream ride, aiming for world number one. And then at Zurich, we had Andrew Novak and Ben Griffin finally grab a win. These guys have been so close, and it’s like, about time, you know?
Not to forget Joaquin Niemann in Mexico City — his fifth LIV win, earns a U.S. Open spot, and hey, his mom was there to see it. Sweet, right? This stuff gets you right in the feels sometimes.
And while we’re at it — Ariya, Ronni, and the rest — they’re not losers. I mean, Ronni with her wild shot and Ariya with the close call just shows how unpredictable this sport can be. It’s like golf’s version of a soap opera.
And what’s with the slow play again? LPGA’s trying to crack down, but Sunday was just… ugh, slow. Can relate, though. Sometimes the brain just needs a minute, am I right?
On a more random note, Caitlin Clark nailed it. No phones at the Masters? Genius. Forces people to actually talk. Imagine that. Probably the best thought I heard all week.
Seattle update? Oh boy, I bombed U.S. Open qualifying. Like, crashed-and-burned bad. Gonna need a serious pep talk with myself. Send help. Or coffee. Yeah, maybe just coffee.
Alright, see ya next week. Emails, thoughts, whatever, just hit me at [email protected].